Why we dont like that friend of our friend?
If we know person’s socio type we can predict his relationships with other types. Its not as difficult once you know Socionics and you can do it too. As I mentioned briefly before there are 16 socio types and 16 relationship patterns between those types. Relationships vary from “perfect match” (known as “Duality” in Socionics) to – in my opinion most challenging ones – “Supervision”. So the thing is, as long as your socio types are different with another person, you will perceive people differently. I give you my own examples:
- If I was to find a man who would be my Perfect Match my mom would never, ever, ever find a common language with him because for her the relationship to him would be “Supervision” what I called the most challenging ones. Most probably she would tell me how horrible he was, how miserable and hopeless she felt next to him and obviously because he made her so uncomfortable I wouldn’t be able to imagine him becoming a part of the family.
- In the same Supervision relationship is my husband with one friend of mine. They don’t appreciate each other, each of them doesn’t understand how I can be with another one and once they even had a fight – classical scenario, I should have foreseen that. For me, however, the relationships with each of them are equally good from personal and Socionics point of view.
I apologize for giving negative examples. I decided that negative would be more obvious, cause “good” relationships are like 50 shades of good. But once you hate someone its pretty much black and white, isn’t it?
Now how to deal with that?
- Understand that due to your socio type you are only able to see a certain side of a person, while someone else can see another side:
In this picture orange square and blue circle on the walls are perspectives of 2 different people (A and B) looking at the same person N. While N has much bigger and more complex personality, due to the angle limitations A and B are only able to see a part of N. Because from their angle thats all they can see, they have a right to state that what they see is true. None can see the Truth, hence no one of them can judge clearly.
- Don’t fight it. We can not control feelings and can not order ourselves to have a certain opinion unless we genuinely have it. It’s perfectly OK not to like someone. Reduce the communication to minimum and you shall be fine.
- Listen to your own judgment when it comes to personal likes and dislikes. Remember: one man’s meat is another man’s poison.
In a difficult situation think who is more important to you and stick with that person. In the end of the day its your choice and your life to live, choose your people carefully.
Peace and Love =)
PS: I am working on sharing some materials in Socionics menu option on top of the page. All the types, relationships etc I will describe there so it easily accessible at all times. Its still work in progress but something is already there, have a look. Comment if any particular topic interests you – I will write about it!